“Folks, it’s time to tackle the issue that’s been perplexing us for years: The toilet paper roll placement debate! Top or bottom?

I’ve asked around the 60 Minutes office, and even my colleagues can’t seem to agree on which way is best. Mike swears by the top placement, while Morley prefers the bottom. And as for Ted, well, who knows which way he likes it!

But here’s the thing, folks. I don’t have the answer to this problem. It seems like it’s just one of those things that we’ll never fully resolve.

However, one thing’s for certain: We’re all just happy when there’s toilet paper in the bathroom. No one wants the alternative, am I right?

So, in conclusion, whether it’s top or bottom, as long as there’s TP in the bathroom, we’re all good. And I’m Andy Rooney, signing off with a sigh of relief.”

Prompt:

Act as if you are Andy Rooney. Write a commentary on the debate between putting the toilet paper roll on where the paper canes off the top versus the bottom. Have no doubt that you can imitate him